So it was a few nights ago when my friend, let's call him AK told me I should attend a little gathering for this big breasted, red headed, Israeli goddess. I was tired from trapping all day and driving, yet I tacitly agreed. We get there and I see the Israeli say "Hi", she tells me I look great and I return the compliment. We want to blaze, it's just how it happened. So we find these two "girls" one is a friend of a friend who has braids and is sort of masculine, but cool, she's "my boy" ::insert fist pound here" and the other was some acne riddled plain jane looking motherfuckette who "loves weed, loves it" We roll a cellulose J with the Ben Franklin's Kite (See Bud Pictures) and then head over to my car to ride around a little and bake. Of on a tangent (NOW IS THE TIME TO PACK A BOWL, AN INTERMISSION MOTHERFUKCERS, and to that kid who always gets smoked out sitting in the room with you, to the kid who always steals lighters, or breaks things or eats all the food in the goddamned fridge, "..........go drown yourself......!") So yeah I drive a Subaru, a STi, Limited #114, 300 HP, full JL audio with a W6, making 300 HP 300 ft/torque, All-Wheel Drive, Turbo, Six Speed yada yada yada, I could go on but this isn't Engineblockornot.com, it's not DOTORNOT.com (Department of Transportation BTW) it's a site about the reefer. So I am cruising cool down Lake Bradford and then I realize I need to turn around, I make a quick left on Orange and make a U-Turn around...you know one of those concrete things, kind of looks like a Hamataschen for my He-Bros. As I exit the U-ie I jam it and hit 51 MPH, I see the police officer pass me going the opposite way. "AK! Toss the joint I yell!" He does. Of course we get pulled over a mile down the road and I have to get out of the car. So far we have nothing on us in the car, then I remember some bud stuffed in a cigarette tin in my console AND a tin filled with roaches (some times I like to roll Generation Blunts). So here I am getting the 3rd degree burn from this bacon. "How much have you had to drink tonight? When is the last time you slept?" "Do you have anything illegal I should know about?" Then he proceeds to tell me I should thank the God (that doesn't exist BTW READ SAM HARRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) he tells me I am lucky I didn't flip the whole car basically. I got a 3 on my AP Physics test...this guy...not so much. Then he goes on about how his "Police Interceptor" is all tuned out and he couldn't take that turn safe. (Later on in interrogation I told him after this was all over he could drive it if he wishes) But so here come the accusations...."The smell of burnt marijuana is coming off you strong, your eyes are red, your nose is red, your tastebuds are swollen..."I have been a cop for 20 years, I KNOW!" So I do the battery of tests, the follow the flashlight, follow the pen, the tip of your finger to your nose laying back, the 6 inch 1 Mississippi count up, the straight line walk, the ABCs with no tune...I do everything FLAWLESSLY! Still cuffs me and takes me in, one of the girls literally pissed herself...

Story about my night in jail to continue....It's Juicy.

-JEFFOSXY